Further Discussion

I think one of the topics that could use further discussion not only in this class but with the world, is misunderstanding between gender speech communities.

Favorite Thing

I took Professor Perez's online communications class last semester, and that is what drove me to choose this class this year.

What I have learned

I have learned many different things about communication from this class, but most importantly I have learned how to see situations from others perspectives, and analyze why they are acting the way they are.

Relationship Types

Based on interviews with married individuals, separate from their couple, a team of researchers were able to come up with the five types of marriage.

Changes in Marriage

This is a very interesting discussion question.

Definition of Family

This is a great question for me because I have so many people I consider family that are not blood related to me. Family is defined by the interactions and investments you have with another person or people. I have spent every holiday since I can remember with my moms best friends family. I call all of them my aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents, and they treat my parents and I as one of their own. They keep us in the loop with everything thats going on with everyone else in the family and we do the same with them. I have a very small blood related family, so this extended family for us seems just the same. Family members are the ones who are there in times of need when no one else can be. They confide in one another, and ask for advice. Family members do not judge each other and they love unconditionally.
Both of my parents were and are really good at encouraging independence. After I turned 18 most of the rules that had once been in place were no longer there, and I had a lot more freedom. Also, after I moved out, my parents and my relationship grew stronger and we are closer now than before. Now that I am graduating college and getting married, they give me even more credit to having my independence from them.

Different kinds of love

The three primary styles of love are eros, storge and ludus.

Commitment without Love?

This discussion question was really hard for me to come up with something.

Online Deception

I definitely agree that deception is much more prevalent in online relationships.

Sexual Attraction

One of the sections that jumped out to me was the section on Sexual Attraction in friendships.

My best friend

I met my best friend Ariana on our first day of second grade in Elementary school.

Friendship

One post I read from the Friendship Page Advice Forum was about a girl who was feeling left out from two of her friends.

Reflecting

I really liked this chapter over all because it offered me a lot to reflect on, in regards to myself and how I treat others.

Disconfirmed and Defensive

I can't think of a specific time when I have been in this type of interaction, but I can explain what kind of defensive-producing communication behaviors would make me feel disconfirmed and defensive.

Disagreeing with Others

The description the author provides for confirmation is "recognizing that another person exists," then next you acknowledge their feelings, and finally the strongest level of confirmation is endorsement, when you accept another's feelings or thoughts.

Identifying Our Emotions

The first step in communicating our emotions effectively is to identify our emotions correctly.

Social Influences on Emotions&Perceptual Influences on Emotions

I understood these two views the most, and the combination of them both made the most sense to me in understanding the expression of emotion.

Fallacies

I can definitely relate to some of the fallacies listed.

Mindfulness

The concept I found most interesting this week was about mindfulness. A couple months ago I bought a book titled "Peace is every breath," and it is basically all about being present in every moment, and taking time to focus on your breathing. It begins by teaching you to breath slow and deep and pay full attention while doing the simplest tasks, like brushing your teeth. When you wake up in the morning, take a few deep breaths to center yourself and become mindful. While your brushing your teeth, pay attention to how the bristles of the brush feel against your gums and be aware of the smell of your toothpaste. Being mindful means being completely and fully present in the moment, and I really try and live every minute of my life this way. It takes a lot of practice and focus, most of the time we are too tired to be paying attention all the time, but it's worth it because you feel more peaceful and relaxed.
Mindful listening is the same concept, just being fully aware and attentive when someone is speaking to you. You don't let your thoughts wander to what you are doing that weekend or day dream about something else, give that person your full attention and listen with all of your energy. I don't think many people do this or are even capable of doing this because we are always thinking, worrying or stressing out about what we have to do or are doing. Mindful living and listening should be something you practice everyday, and can benefit your life and relationships.

Listening is a 10 part skill

I did find this article interesting, and I could relate to some of the bad listening skills that were brought up.

6 signs of non-listening

As I read the very first nonlistening pattern, I actually read it out loud to my Fiance because he does Pseudolistening to me all the time, and as I am reading it, I realize he is doing it while I'm reading about it to him!!

American Society

After reading the discussion question I can honestly say that I never knew that the metaphor "melting pot," referred  to the melting together of all cultures and blending as one. I always thought melting pot meant that there are a bunch of different people living in one area and we all contribute to society which would be the soup. All the different cultures and types of people come together to make a final product, but now thinking about that metaphor I can understand why it would be the melting down and blending into one unified character. I like the metaphors that Jesse Jackson uses, I think it is important that we recognize we are all different and just because we live in the same area doesn't mean we need to be the same. I think people who were born and raised here feel a little territorial, when it comes to embracing other cultures. We all just have to remember that there was always someone here before us and they were different from us as well, so we just have to accept it. I would use the metaphor "garden salad" because instead of blending all the differences together, we show off all the differences and they each share a role, just like a garden salad.

Hate Speech

The timing of this discussion is really interesting to me because we are lightly touching on the topic of Hate Speech in my Media Law class.

Your 20's

So for this discussion I first talked to my dad about how he, and his friends were expected to act when they were in their 20’s.

Attachment Styles

The most interesting concept for me in Chapter 2 was attachment styles.

Race and Identity

One of the most interesting parts of this section I found on race was the very end where the author discusses the new scholarship area of critical whiteness studies.

I-Thou Communication

I feel that I-Thou communication is saved for romantic relationships, in where we finally let down all guards and stop worrying about our image.

I-It or I-You

I have definitely experienced both I-It and I-You, being a server in a restaurant I know how it feels to have someone treat you like an it.

Linear VS Interactive

I definitely agree with the book with the fact that the Linear Model is incredibly flawed. Communication does not go in one direction without coming back to the sender, the only example I can think of where I have seen this type of communication was if a child was getting lectured or yelled at by their parent. In that case, the child is sitting there passively listening to the parent speak. The Linear Model also explains that listening in just the second step to speaking, when in fact as the book says, most of the time these two steps overlap or work simultaneously together.

On the other hand, the Interactive Model explains that listeners give feedback in response to the speaker. This model also includes that the listener uses their own personal experiences and opinions to interpret the message and shape their feedback accordingly. The best way to compare the two models would be to say that the Linear Model is a one way street and the Interactive Model is a two way street. Information flows out in one direction for the Linear, and information is exchanged back and forth in the Interactive. I can definitely relate to the Interactive Model when personal experience does not overlap enough and misunderstandings occur. This is why people argue, because they both have either had two different experiences on a certain topic, or one has no experience at all. As the book says, although the Interactive model is an improvement to the Linear model, they both are still flawed. Communication is an involvement of both parties, one person is not defined at the sender and one as the receiver, it is a constant exchange from both people or multiple people.

Hello All

My name is Katelyn and I am a Senior here at SJSU graduating in December!! I took an online communications class last semester with professor Perez and decided to take another one of her classes again as an elective for my final semester. I am majoring in Public Relations and currently I work at a winery in Los Gatos. I am really excited for this class and I hope it is as fun as Comm131!