The first step in communicating our emotions effectively is to identify our emotions correctly.
You must figure out the root of the emotion, and what is really triggering it. The book explains this by identifying the primary and main feeling, it must dominate all other feelings in that moment. For example, you may feel that your angry, but it could be stemming from sadness from being hurt by someone or something. I remember reading somewhere that anger is the first emotion after you have been hurt, because your first instinct is to want to defend yourself. Although you overwhelmingly feel sad, you don't want to show that because it makes you look vulnerable. By identifying your emotion you can then express it in the best way for others to understand. You first choose who to express this emotion to. Personally, I have always been a private person and although I don't have a problem expressing my feelings, I am very selective about who I express them to. By doing so, you don't have to worry about your personal feelings being spread around. I think everyone should take time and pay attention to their feelings and analyze how to express them.
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