The most interesting concept for me in Chapter 2 was attachment styles.
I never realized how crucial the first five years of our life really are, and how much we take in during this time. Everything that is said to us and acted out in front of us is soaked in like a sponge and used for creating our personalities. I was lucky enough to be brought up with a secure attachment style, allowing me later in life to feel comfortable being close to another person and feeling secure that I was and am loved. I believe this attachment style helps you learn how to love yourself as well, because when you feel love from others it helps you create self worth and love for your self.
I think people who would most commonly experience the anxious/ambivalent attachment style would possibly be from having either divorced parents, or a parent that left without notice. My fiance's father walked out on him and his brother when he was four, so although his father showed love and security for him up until this time, he always remembers that people can leave and be inconsistent. I think that although this attachment style can seem a little jaded, it creates more of a reality for you as a child for how life really is.
Dear MaryLou,
ReplyDeleteIt is intriguing how within the first five years of a child's life, their personalities are formed based on their surroundings and who they interact with! That is a lot of pressure for parents haha. I was also fortunate enough to grow up in a secure attachment style. This is fundamental for the child to, like you said, love themselves because of the love shown towards them at an early age. Feeling worthy keeps you going.
In many cases, people do experience the anxious/ambivalent attachment style when things like you mentioned occur. I believe even though someone may have a certain attachment style, with hard work and dedication, they can overcome.
Great post!
I think you really explained attachment styles good and I agree kids minds are like a sponge to everything but especially about love. Kids that were not shown love early on have a harder time letting others love them because maybe they think everyone is the same. This really is an interesting concept because some parents are not aware of this and tend to distance themselves from their children for many reasons. Also that is very sad about your fiance but atleast this has not stopped him from letting another person in and loving him (your example was really strong and really gave a good example for this concept!). The same thing happened with my bestfriend with her mother however i think because of this she has a hard time with many of her relationships. However kids that are shown love early on have a much easier time letting others love them for who they are.
ReplyDeleteI liked that you brought some personal experience into this post to explain the concept a bit better. I too found this section interesting because it helps explain the dynamics we have with other people. It is kind of scary that the first few years of our life is so important, because as an adult, you have to be careful about what you do and say around children. During these years, attachment styles are formed and have a lasting impression for some. How the parents’ and children’s relationships are can affect the relationships they form with other people later on through interaction and communication.
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